One of my favorite books as a kid was “The Nunga Punga & The Booch.”  As you can tell from that title, it was one of those ultra-educational-ending-with-strong-moral-lessons type of book.  What?  You didn’t get that from the title?  Well, you won’t get that from reading it either because it is one of those books that includes a tiger, A Nunga and a Punga, “tiddley-pum” type songs, and a list of Wise Sayings.  And yet, like Pooh, it is one of those books that you will find yourself quoting.

(And just in case you are wondering if I am the only idiot that valued this book, you can purchase a new copy of  “The Nunga Punga & The Booch” on Amazon for $172.48.  I kid not.  Or you can buy one of the 19 used copies starting at $8.03.  But I am NOT parting with mine!)

Anyway, just as this book ends with a list of “Wise Sayings”, I thought that I would start my own list–well, kind of my own.  The title of my list is “Wise Sayings by The Hunni”.

Origin of the Specific Saying:

Facebook can be a depressing place.  Like when your friend posts the photos of her trip to Tahbiti-heeti in which she looks splash-tastic in her bikini-wini.  When that happens, I think, “I don’t need this.  I can’t handle this.”  And then I click on that button that makes her and her perfect bikini-wini disappear into the blackness and darkness of cyber space.

Or when your friend posts pictures of her totally organically grown Easter dinner which looks like Martha Stewart secretly visited and set the table meal, I think, “I can’t handle this,” and yep once again, I have the pleasure of flushing my Martha Stewart friend into cyber space.

Or when your friend posts, “Oh, I am so tired from my trip to Timbuktu.  I wanted to sight-see some more, but all the universities kept me busy giving lectures and wanting autographs on my new book entitled, “I Know Everything”.  However, I had to jet back for my Fashion Show starring me.”  FLUSH!

So when my friend Running Mama posted that she was now running marathons, I got a poochi-whoochi lip, and took my pouty-wouty self out to the garage to visit my Hunni.

Conversation:

Poochi Lip Girl:  Running Mama is running marathons now.

Hunni:  Really, that’s great.

(Hmmmmmmmmm.  Not the reaction I wanted.)

Poochi Lip Girl:  She would have to run all the time.

Hunni:  Yeah.  It takes a lot of dedication and hard work to run a marathon.

Extra Poochi Lipped Girl:  Well, I clean! I CooK! I HOMESCHOOL!

Hunni:  I’m sure she does those things also.

(Oh! This conversation is SO not going the way I wanted.)

Poochi Lip Girl: BUT!!!!!!!

Hunni:  If you want to start running marathons; knock yourself out.  Nobody but yourself is stopping you.

(Poochi Lip Girls swivels on her hips and stomps out.  MAD.  Exit stage left.)

You see, Poochi Lip Girl was mad because her Hunni had given her something to think about.  Why did Girl become Poochi Lip Girl?  Because she was jealous.  And jealously, O Best Beloved, is not pretty.  Or fulfilling.  The truth of the matter is exactly what my Hunni had said, but I didn’t want to hear it.  I wanted it to somehow be wrong for my friend to be successful and enterprising and talented and dedicated.  Yet, I secretly longed to be all of those things.

I was listening to Beth Moore, a well-known Bible study leader and speaker, and she said, “Do you secretly delight when your friend gains five pounds?”  That hit me hard.

Now the opposite of being Mrs. Perfect is to be self-deprecating.  I read somewhere, and I can’t find it again, but I would give credit to the source if my mind was able to remember, ANYWAYS. . .I read that when a group of women get together within 15 minutes someone says something derogatory about themself.  Now, Oh Best Beloved, is that good? right? needful? of the LORD?

Let me answer that question with Wise Saying #2 by The Hunni.  When I say something like, “I hate my figure/features/insert area of body here.”  He says to me, “Don’t you talk about my wife that way!”  And now O Best Beloved, do you think your Maker would want you to talk about yourself that way?

(Poochi Lip Girl here descends from her soap box and exits stage right.  Curtains close to the sound of surprised applause.)

Hello again, I have no idea who this Poochi Lip Girl is, but I wanted to add a few things.

This is what I am NOT saying.

1. I will not change the style of my sarcastic, self-deprecating writing.  There is a difference between learning a lesson and changing the essence of who you are.  Epigram: Learn the lesson; leave alone the essence.
2. I am not saying that it is necessary to always be able to handle everything.  It is okay to hit the mute button or the delete button.
3. And please, don’t stop posting your vacation photos and updating notes.  I LOVE THEM!  I would be lonely without them.  It is my social life.

I really didn’t mean to preach.  Sorry.  Stay with me.

-rebecca

If you too would like to be privy to the wise sayings from “The Nunga Punga and The Booch”, you can click on this link and it will take you to Amazon.com.
The Nunga Punga & the Booch

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