She was perfectly beautiful.
She was perfectly talented.
She was perfectly friendly.
She was perfectly kind.
She was perfectly polite.
In my mind, she was perfect.
She wasn’t married.
Now I didn’t understand this because my perfect friend WANTED to be married. So I headed to the Guy Department of our house here at My Whit’s End to confer with The Guy.
(enter Confused Girl. Crosses Garage (Guy Department) to where The Guy is under the car on a wheeled thing.)
Confused Girl: Hunni, why didn’t you marry Perfect Friend.
(Wheeled thing slides out from underneath the car. Huge points scored for getting his undivided attention while working under a car.)
The Guy: (worried) Is this a trick question?
Confused and Bemused Girl: No. I just wanted a guy’s perspective as to why Perfect Friend who I consider to be Perfect wasn’t your choice in a Partner.
The Guy: Let’s put it this way, if Perfect Friend were an ice cream flavor, she would be vanilla.
Interested Girl: And what’s wrong with vanilla?
The Guy: Vanilla is great as long as you add something to it, like chocolate sauce, apple pie, cookies, etc. . . But if I was going to order a flavor for me to eat up, it would not be vanilla.
(Interested Girl is less confused, but there is a VERY BIG QUESTION that is begging to be asked.)
Anxious Girl: So, if I were an ice cream flavor, what flavor would I be?
The Guy: You, would be Rocky Road!!!!
(The Guy slides wheely thing back under the car. Clearly the conversation is over. Girl heads out of Guy Department to ponder the conversation.)
First off, Girl gets huge points for getting The Guy’s undivided attention in Guy Department. Second. Is being Rocky Road a compliment or a complaint.
Break it down.
Rocky Road ice cream contains marshmallows. Check. I have soft, squishy, white parts on me.
Rocky Road ice cream contains pecans. Check. I am officially a Southern Nut Case.
Rocky Road ice cream contains pieces of chocolate. Check. Check. I often fall to pieces, and there are few times in my life that have been lived without chocolate.
Rocky Road ice cream has a smooth, chocolate-milky finish. Check. I can finish smooth.
Add to all of this the fact that life with me can be bumpy at times, and I think I get the picture. But the most important part of all is that The Guy chose me. Rocky Road Rebecca. Woot! Woot! Boogy-down! He loves me! The Guy picked me. Out of all 31 flavors he picked Rocky Road. And that my friends, “has made all the difference.”
Poem by Rebecca Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry Guy could not travel both,
He looked down one as far as he could
To where it bent in the undergrowth,
Then he looked down the other, just as far
And having perhaps a bumpier claim,
Because it was rocky and not quite so fair,
but looked like adventure waiting to be claimed.
Rocky is telling this with a sigh,
Somewhere ages and ages hence.
Guy took the road less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
(Dear Reader, if your education did not include Robert Frost’s poetry, please make sure that your child’s education does. “It will make all the difference.”)
And now for the “smooth finish.” Perfect Friend married a Perfect Man, and they lived perfectly happily ever after. Rocky Road Rebecca married The Guy and they are bouncing down their road in a blue jalopy with four kids (no pets, as I am tired of potty training things) singing their songs, headed for the Celestial City, perfectly happy.
The end. and Amen.
P.S. Here are some of the rocky roads on which we have traveled. And after you have finished looking at the photos, I would love to hear which ice cream flavor you think you would be. Enter in the comments section.