She Said–April Fool on Me–Worst Typos and Misspellings

I thought that to celebrate April Fool’s day, I would show you that I am the April Fool.

Now I have previously mentioned my bi-polar spelling.  Having been raised on two hemispheres and with frquent trips between the two spheres, my spelling was affected by all the jet lag, and I developed a bad case of bi-polar spelling.  I am sure you have seen my many typos and spelling mistakes, but, wait-oh-wait.  Some of the worst/best thankfully never made it into print.

I wrote an entire post about my “my died blonde hair.”  My Blonde Story  I am sure that it had something to do with the color of hair I was describing.

I also wrote about some great Prune Breakfast muffins that were “a one bowel recipe.”  Health Nut Breakfast Fiber Muffins

And I wrote some prose “To all my GRILFRIENDS“–You know, those people that like to hang out by the grill.  I think the fumes just got to me, that is all.

MATH ISSUES

“Each one of those little Stage 1 size of containers is about 1/4 cup.  We need one cup of prunes, so dump in all three containers into a bowl.”  Apparently, I don’t know how to add fractions.  Cooking with Baby Food II–Health Nut Breakfast Fiber Muffins

” All seven of us were locked between the two bullet proof doors.”  (This one actually made it to print.)  Last time I counted, I had four children and one husband.  Add myself and that makes six.  I would also like to clearly state that I AM NOT PREGANT! (That was more to reassure myself).  How could I not know how many there are in our family????  Money and Lawyers–Starting Our Own Business Part IV and V

” I choose Graciela, which means “the favored or blessed one” in Spanish as she has been blessed with two great husbands and kids.”  Aparrently, I can’t count husbands very well.  I think I meant “one great husband and two kids,” or maybe “one husband and two great kids,” or maybe “one husband that is a great kid,” something like that.  Family Introductions:  You can’t pick your in-laws

JUST HORSING AROUND

I wrote an entire post about starting a business and mentioned “Encouragers and Neigh-Sayers.”  The Hunni saw this post pre-press and gave a horse laugh, and then he told me how to spell “nay.”  “HAY!”, don’t laugh at me,” I grew up on a farm, and that is my spelling excuse.  Collecting Information–Starting Our Own Business II and III

SELF-PRAISE

“I was wonderful”.  Maybe I should run that one by you again.  “I was wonderful.”  I wonder why I didn’t just leave it like that?  Instead, I had to change it to,”It was wonderful.”–in reference to  Lemon Cake.  Mason Jar Discovery

ANGRY!

The title to one of my cooking posts was, “Tamales 101–Our Fist Fast Food.”–editing correctly changed it to “Our First Fast Food,”  but can’t you see the Arm & Hammer Guy waving a tamale? VIVA LA RAZA!

NAUGHTY

These are typos, that if they had reached press, I probably would have closed down my blog forever.  They are so bad, that I am still embarrased about them.

This one was discovered when I decided to erase a sentence.  The sentence I erased was.  “I am in the photo somewhere is a blue and white stripped shirt.”   Of course I hadn’t stipped my shirt!  I meant I had on a striped shirt.   Peach Honey  Now that spelling mistake was probably not too bad, but it reminds me of something that happened during our Christmas vacation that was bad.

At my parents time share, we ride the elevator 100 times everyday.  Kids forget their googles, parents need a second coffee, grandpa would like the newspaper, etc. . .  Anyway, I always try to be friendly on the elevator.  SOOOOooo, Mon Amie and I were taking the elevator down to go to the pool with all of our kiddos in tow (no Hunnies), and I started chatting with a lady that had just gotten on the elevator.  She was wearing a shirt that said, “Hot Tamales” and something else I couldn’t read.  I assumed it was a Mexican Restaurant, so I asked her about it.  She said that they had owned it for 30 years.  Her accent betrayed her as being from Michigan, so we got to talking about where we each lived. She said that she lived on “Seven Mile”.  Now I know that “Seven Mile” is the dividing line between the ghetto and the non-ghetto of Detroit, but I didn’t think too much more about it.   I asked her how often she came down, and she said, “We own the business, so we get to come down, but the girls keep working while we are away.”  I then said that, “I would love to come visit Hot Tamales and try it out.”  She gave me a very odd look, paused, then said, “Yeah.”  I smiled as Mon Amie and I exited the elevator with all seven kiddos and said, “It was nice meeting you.  I hope you have a great vacation, and we will try to get over to Hot Tamales!”

After the woman had disappeared into the parking lot, and we were a little distance away, Mon Amie said, “Did you read her shirt?” because Hot Tamales isn’t anyplace you will be visiting.  I WAS HORRIFIED!!!  My only consolation is that hopefully my naivete was SO apprent that she knew I didn’t know.  I hope.  But I still blush.

But do you want to read my worst typo of all?

Let me expalin.  I wrote two posts in one day.  One was entitled, “Coaches” and the other one “My Hershey Brown Couch“.  Now some of you already know what is coming, but for the rest of you, I got the words “coach” and “couch” mixed up on a few sentences.  And it was reallly bad.  The Hunni sometimes reads my posts before I make them public, and he was laughing so hard.  I DIDN”T LAUGH.  Here are the two worst mistakes.

“Then I curl up on my Hershey-Brown leather coach,  knowing that it will not twitch, or snore, or throw its arm around me.  And as I close my eyes, those heavy velvet, mid-night blue curtains of Sleep and Rest begin to gently fall.  And as they are  falling I am transported to a scene of lightness and rest.  A scene of softness and complete relaxing.  And I look forward to the play that will shortly follow.  And then my Hershey-Brown Coach speaks to me, and it says, “snuggle closer into my chocolate arms”.   YEP! it was that bad!!  Thankfully that one never made it to press, so no one knows about it.

I had the same typo when I wrote, “To Men: this is a boring post about the correct way to load the dishwasher.”  And here it is.  “The Capicki-Pocky ligament twanged when I decided to bend over and while bending over, lift the corner of the coach to remove the square of blue styrofoam that the Cleaners had put under the legs of the coach so that the wood wouldn’t stain the clean carpet.”  SIGH!  Not the best place for a typo.

So you see?  I am the April Fool.

Hope you found my embarassment at least slightly funny.

Hope you have a grate day.

–rebecca

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14 Responses to She Said–April Fool on Me–Worst Typos and Misspellings

  1. dgharman says:

    Priceless! Thanks for such a good laugh! I have the same problem with miscounting the numbers in our family!

    Like

  2. natalie says:

    Ha! Thanks for posting, I was smiling through the whole thing. : )

    Like

  3. Bel McCoy says:

    What are a few boo-boos among friends??

    Like

  4. bethany says:

    love. you. and your spelling. thanks for the laughs!

    Like

  5. Brooke says:

    I bet you gave that lady on the elevator something to think about. Innocence often touches people in ways they least expect it! Typos are so fun…when they belong to someone else : )

    Like

  6. Laura says:

    so you’re not PREGANT…but could you possibly be PREGNANT?!??? 🙂 sorry, I couldn’t resist!

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  7. Kathy Tanner says:

    I wonder if you hunni remembers any of the comments he made on our answering machine a few years ago. ( Kind of like a verbal typo, if you know what i mean )

    Like

  8. Merry Dunn says:

    You are VERY funny!! I remember being delighted with you when I met you at Kirkland meeting years ago. We were both nursing babies in the baby rooom but you were practically naked because you had forgotten to wear something that opened in the front! SO FUNNY!!

    Like

    • whitsendmom says:

      Oh I SO remember that! I also remember that I was furious at John for not bringing back the loaf and the cup, but someone else brought the loaf back. And by the time the cup came back, I just gave a frantic shake of “NO” of my head. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to keep everything up and covered.

      Like

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